I remember in my last English class, we studied plot. Plot and characters. It interested me a lot. And today, I'm reminded about 'dilemmas'. Here's a rough definition that my professor gave us for that word (the parts that I can remember): The protagonist is forced to make a decision between two choices, neither of them desirable. Yeah...I'm in a dilemma.
Two choices lie before me. Both of them, if I could do each, would make me happy. But life is hardly that simple. I have to choose one thing to do. And in return, I'll feel guilty about the other choice.
You see, I made plans. Plans that are at least a month old. But a train derailed (figuratively speaking) and now I'm in a mess. It couldn't be helped though, nothing could have stopped this from happening.
But...I have two great friends who in end helped my decision. One of them had me think of each thing and I actually cried over one. He told me, quite plainly, "I think you've already made your decision." And my other friend, God bless her, told me that everyone would understand and that it was fine; I just needed to make the decision for myself. Better said than done, my dear.
But I did it. Made my decision. I feel bad, but it also feels like a weight has been lifted...kind of.
I just might cry over not being able to see my friends. But really, it's for a different reason than that. I don't want her to be mad or frustrated at me. When will this fear go away...?
*~[Endlessly]~*
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